Project Perfect Mod Forums
:: Home :: Get Hosted :: PPM FAQ :: Forum FAQ :: Privacy Policy :: Search :: Memberlist :: Usergroups :: Register :: Profile :: Log in to check your private messages :: Log in ::


The time now is Tue Mar 19, 2024 3:29 am
All times are UTC + 0
Fen Has a Major Announcement
Moderators: Global Moderators, Offtopic Moderators
Post new topic   Reply to topic Page 1 of 1 [38 Posts] Mark the topic unread ::  View previous topic :: View next topic
Author Message
FurryQueen
General


Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Location: Liyue

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 5:54 am    Post subject:  Fen Has a Major Announcement Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Oh yes, Fen had a major announcement. One that will surprise the lot of you, which is fine. I'll put it in simple terms. I am extraordinarily miserable most of the time and I have actually been close to actual suicide many times. Most of the time, I don't generally give out that information since most don't need to know but for this announcement, it will be important and make a great deal of sense.

Now for the announcement part of things. Fen will soon no longer be a he and will become a she. Yes, you read that correctly. I will be undergoing gender transition as I am transgender. I will be changing over time and will officially begin next month, hopefully. A new chapter begins...

You don't need to walk of eggshells or anything. I'll still be fundamentally the same except for my name and being referred to as "he." I'm still going to like the same things like C&C, Call of Duty, metal and all that. Just won't be a he for much longer.

Just don't act like dicks. Acting like a jackass will be the fastest way to summon my anger.

Anyhow, that is all.

_________________
KGR | AT
AZUR
Discord: theastronomer1836
Steam

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Skype Account
MadHQ
Commander


Joined: 07 Nov 2003

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 6:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Why?

_________________
MadHQ's Graveyard - Click here!
(Permissions) - (F.A.Q.)

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Skype Account
G-E
Defense Minister


Joined: 09 Feb 2015

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 7:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

MadHQ wrote:
Why?

I thought it was pretty clear, mental illness...

_________________
http://www.moddb.com/mods/scorched-earth-ra2-mod-with-smart-ai

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Banshee
Supreme Banshee


Also Known As: banshee_revora (Steam)
Joined: 15 Aug 2002
Location: Brazil

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 7:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Gender choice is not mental illness. It is a choice. You don't need to agree with it, but you have to respect it. If Fen feels comfortable that way, I hope it is for the best.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Skype Account
TAK02
General


Joined: 28 Jun 2015
Location: It was Damascus.

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 7:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Apologies if this sounds mean to any of you, but I am curious about this subject as I never really ventured into it, completely lack experience in this subject, and simply come from a different culture (i.e. I'm not integrated into Western culture and its shenanigans).

While I don't 100% agree with G-E saying it's a mental illness (even though I still think it is a possible symptom more than anything, or maybe even some sort of neural damage, regardless of how & when it came to be, or it could be the way you were raised as a child (I mean small, seemingly meaningless details)), I don't agree with Banshee's "Gender is choice" either.

I think that, if born a boy, you ought to remain a boy, with the same applying to girls. I think this view originates from the belief that everything happening, including gender at birth, has a reason. Whether it's for the good or bad is another matter.

So basically, it could be better for you in the long run if you stay a boy, or remain a girl to end of your days. As you don't really know what'll happen in the future, it's best to leave this kind of thing alone.
(You could say God has a reason for, say, Fen being born a boy, and not girl, hence why I'm reluctant to this touchy subject. Whether it'll benefit you or someone else is, again, another matter. The point is, there's reason we can't see.)

I do agree with Banshee when he says we must all respect the choices others make (as long as they're old enough mentally), but regarding Fen's choice, I can only shake my head.

Again, apologies if anything offended you or hurt you. I just don't know anything about this kind of thing. Seriously, I don't even what exactly transgender is supposed to mean! Again, I'm sorry.

_________________
One and only developer of the Command & Conquer Dune "C&C D" mod.
m7 wrote:
I tend to release things I create so that assets are never lost to hard drive problems, accidental deletion, or me having to pretend to care about rippers taking things from my project when it is done. #Tongue

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website ModDB Profile ID YouTube User URL Twitter Channel URL Skype Account
Lin Kuei Ominae
Seth


Joined: 16 Aug 2006
Location: Germany

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 8:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

"Gender choice" is the wrong term. It's more like born in the wrong body and having the opportunity and modern technology to correct that.
This is also no western shenanigan. It's more like not being narrow-minded , religiously blinded, science/facts ignoring and acknowledging that there isn't only black or white, good or bad, true or false.

Good luck Fen, hope it turns out the better for you. At least you don't have to get a new PPM nickname. Smile

_________________
SHP Artist of Twisted Insurrection:  Nod buildings

Public SHPs
X-Mech Calendar (28 Mechs for GDI and Nod)
5 GDI, 5 Nod, 1 Mutant, 1 Scrin unit, 1 GDI building

Tools
Image Shaper______TMP Shop______C&C Executable Modifier

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
G-E
Defense Minister


Joined: 09 Feb 2015

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 8:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Banshee wrote:
Gender choice is not mental illness.

Correction: what you DO is a choice, what you ARE is biology...

And don't tell me someone suicidal isn't mentally ill.

BTW the current statistics are approximately 41% of "trans" people kill themselves, and surgery doesn't seem to change this, because they are mentally unstable.

_________________
http://www.moddb.com/mods/scorched-earth-ra2-mod-with-smart-ai

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
TAK02
General


Joined: 28 Jun 2015
Location: It was Damascus.

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 9:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Lin Kuei Ominae wrote:
born in the wrong body
This is exactly the point where my brain crashes: How do you know you're born in the wrong body? I mean, isn't it perfectly normal for boys to like things some girls do (#Brony) and vice-versa?

Because, from my perspective, girls can act like boys and like what boys like (apparently, C&C used to have a female fan-base), and boys can go and do some girly things, like watching MLP on ...was is it Sunday?..

So how does this 'abnormal', sometimes girl-like behavior of a boy translate to being a girl stuck in a boy's body?

Lin Kuei Ominae wrote:
acknowledging that there isn't only black or white, good or bad, true or false.
Exactly, it's just people working according to their own agendas. Wink

EDIT: I think I just unlocked the 'ninja Mig Eater' achievement #Tongue

_________________
One and only developer of the Command & Conquer Dune "C&C D" mod.
m7 wrote:
I tend to release things I create so that assets are never lost to hard drive problems, accidental deletion, or me having to pretend to care about rippers taking things from my project when it is done. #Tongue

Last edited by TAK02 on Sun May 13, 2018 9:32 am; edited 2 times in total

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website ModDB Profile ID YouTube User URL Twitter Channel URL Skype Account
Mig Eater
Defense Minister


Joined: 13 Nov 2003
Location: Eindhoven

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 9:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been doing that well, I hope that this change will help.

Quote:
Just don't act like dicks

I think that is asking to much of this place...

_________________



Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website ModDB Profile ID YouTube User URL Facebook Profile URL Twitter Channel URL
Lin Kuei Ominae
Seth


Joined: 16 Aug 2006
Location: Germany

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 9:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

concerning suicide i always liked the following sentence
"It's easy to find 100 reasons to go on the long voyage, but already one is enough to stay."
Be it family, friends, hobbies that you like, things you always wanted to do, places to visit and maybe helping others to find joy (e.g. charity work) will help you too.
There's so much to simply enjoy life.

_________________
SHP Artist of Twisted Insurrection:  Nod buildings

Public SHPs
X-Mech Calendar (28 Mechs for GDI and Nod)
5 GDI, 5 Nod, 1 Mutant, 1 Scrin unit, 1 GDI building

Tools
Image Shaper______TMP Shop______C&C Executable Modifier

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
G-E
Defense Minister


Joined: 09 Feb 2015

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 9:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Lin Kuei Ominae wrote:
concerning suicide i always liked the following sentence
"It's easy to find 100 reasons to go on the long voyage, but already one is enough to stay."
Be it family, friends, hobbies that you like, things you always wanted to do, places to visit and maybe helping others to find joy (e.g. charity work) will help you too.
There's so much to simply enjoy life.

The mistake people like FQ make is that growing a beard or cutting their dick off won't change any of that...  if they don't have a reason, they still won't.

_________________
http://www.moddb.com/mods/scorched-earth-ra2-mod-with-smart-ai

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Lin Kuei Ominae
Seth


Joined: 16 Aug 2006
Location: Germany

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Tactful as always.

If one problem leads to (or is partially responsible for) the other, why shouldn't it help to "solve" the first one!? ("" as it can't solve it 100% but at least help to feel better in your own body)

_________________
SHP Artist of Twisted Insurrection:  Nod buildings

Public SHPs
X-Mech Calendar (28 Mechs for GDI and Nod)
5 GDI, 5 Nod, 1 Mutant, 1 Scrin unit, 1 GDI building

Tools
Image Shaper______TMP Shop______C&C Executable Modifier

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
PussyPus
Commander


Joined: 14 Jul 2015
Location: Egypt

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 10:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

TAK02 wrote:
Apologies if this sounds mean to any of you, but I am curious about this subject as I never really ventured into it, completely lack experience in this subject, and simply come from a different culture (i.e. I'm not integrated into Western culture and its shenanigans).

While I don't 100% agree with G-E saying it's a mental illness (even though I still think it is a possible symptom more than anything, or maybe even some sort of neural damage, regardless of how & when it came to be, or it could be the way you were raised as a child (I mean small, seemingly meaningless details)), I don't agree with Banshee's "Gender is choice" either.

I think that, if born a boy, you ought to remain a boy, with the same applying to girls. I think this view originates from the belief that everything happening, including gender at birth, has a reason. Whether it's for the good or bad is another matter.

So basically, it could be better for you in the long run if you stay a boy, or remain a girl to end of your days. As you don't really know what'll happen in the future, it's best to leave this kind of thing alone.
(You could say God has a reason for, say, Fen being born a boy, and not girl, hence why I'm reluctant to this touchy subject. Whether it'll benefit you or someone else is, again, another matter. The point is, there's reason we can't see.)

I do agree with Banshee when he says we must all respect the choices others make (as long as they're old enough mentally), but regarding Fen's choice, I can only shake my head.

Again, apologies if anything offended you or hurt you. I just don't know anything about this kind of thing. Seriously, I don't even what exactly transgender is supposed to mean! Again, I'm sorry.


I have a confession, i am not female (as TAK02 knows) i just wanted to hide it, however i am not masculine who is very manly and very male voice or even manly deeds, nor feminine who is very female on almost everything, i do man missions, but i am not 100% man, simply because i had most of my genetics are from my mother, and rare ones are from the father, i don't have any sign of baldness, i don't like heavy lifting often in sports, most is other but lifting, but what is man on me is being a gentlman and man's braveness for example.

So, i am in the middle of male (75% or less, not more).

EDIT: Is it disallowed here to talk about religion?

_________________
If you are a MetalHead (Heavy Metal Fan) and don't want to be a metalhead, Just remove your metal ball from your head. �:p .

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message ModDB Profile ID Skype Account
G-E
Defense Minister


Joined: 09 Feb 2015

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 11:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Lin Kuei Ominae wrote:
Tactful as always.

If one problem leads to (or is partially responsible for) the other, why shouldn't it help to "solve" the first one!? ("" as it can't solve it 100% but at least help to feel better in your own body)

For the same reason people don't take chemo-therapy drugs before they are diagnosed with cancer. Obviously there's a problem in the mind, regardless of how you define it, there's a problem, and there will always be that problem no matter what you do physically.

Think of it this way, whatever is wrong the way things are, there will be all new things wrong after any drugs or surgery; if the body doesn't match the mind 100% now, it for sure won't match 100% after either.

If you are born without legs, it doesn't matter how much you feel like running through the forest, and you have to get over that, or die of depression... this is no different.

_________________
http://www.moddb.com/mods/scorched-earth-ra2-mod-with-smart-ai

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
TAK02
General


Joined: 28 Jun 2015
Location: It was Damascus.

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 11:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Apologies if it sounds like I'm framing gay-ness and transgender-ness as illnesses, but I don't know how else to word it. It is, IMHO, a sign something is wrong, akin to a cold or similar.
PussyPus wrote:
i am not masculine who is very manly and very male voice or even manly deeds, nor feminine who is very female on almost everything, i do man missions, but i am not 100% man, simply because i had most of my genetics are from my mother, and rare ones are from the father, i don't have any sign of baldness, i don't like heavy lifting often in sports, most is other but lifting, but what is man on me is being a gentlman and man's braveness for example.

So, i am in the middle of male (75% or less, not more).
That's exactly the point I was trying to make: Everyone is different. Some boys like girly stuff, like drama and soap opera (can't confirm, but either way, I say nuke the opera), and some girls like to go and play games you can be brutal and violent in (like Yandere Simulator or C&C).
G-E wrote:
Obviously there's a problem in the mind
Indeed, that's what I think too.
The actual problem, however, is looking for HOW and WHY the mind is as 'messed-up' as it is.

For instance (and apologies to all who feel insulted and offended by this), I am firmly convinced being gay is something that DEVELOPS over time, as opposed to something you're born with.
Basically, if a boy confesses to another boy, then you can be sure someone raised the confessor to like boys. Alternatively, something in the boy's life happened and gay-dom is a mere symptom or result of said incident. Of course, the same goes for girls.
Alternatively, transgender might also be an (in-)direct symptom of the same source/problem.

Again, I'm VERY out of the loop regarding these subjects, so, again, apologies in advance.

_________________
One and only developer of the Command & Conquer Dune "C&C D" mod.
m7 wrote:
I tend to release things I create so that assets are never lost to hard drive problems, accidental deletion, or me having to pretend to care about rippers taking things from my project when it is done. #Tongue

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website ModDB Profile ID YouTube User URL Twitter Channel URL Skype Account
Banshee
Supreme Banshee


Also Known As: banshee_revora (Steam)
Joined: 15 Aug 2002
Location: Brazil

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 4:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I was misunderstood in my post above. I have never said that gender is a choice. What I meant is that "changing gender is a choice". Even if you were born in the wrong body, as LKO said, you have the choice to stay on that body or change.

Doing that kind of transformation is a radical and a dangerous decision nowadays, since, there is mutilation and it is irreversible.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Skype Account
TAK02
General


Joined: 28 Jun 2015
Location: It was Damascus.

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 5:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Banshee wrote:
What I meant is that "changing gender is a choice". Even if you were born in the wrong body, as LKO said, you have the choice to stay on that body or change.

It's precisely what I was adressing, so your correction is invalid #Tongue
Jokes aside, it's the "change genders" that my head can't understand. How do I know I'm actually a boy, and not a girl in a boy's body? Because I adore scenes where robots tear each other apart literally? I think girls can enjoy that too, if they watched relevant cartoons or played the relevant games in their childhood.

'Relevant' refers to this behavioural development.

_________________
One and only developer of the Command & Conquer Dune "C&C D" mod.
m7 wrote:
I tend to release things I create so that assets are never lost to hard drive problems, accidental deletion, or me having to pretend to care about rippers taking things from my project when it is done. #Tongue

Last edited by TAK02 on Thu May 24, 2018 4:08 am; edited 1 time in total

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website ModDB Profile ID YouTube User URL Twitter Channel URL Skype Account
cxtian39
Commander


Joined: 11 Feb 2016

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 6:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

AFAIK at current phase "trans" surgery is very awkward. It's merely an appearance change that cuts your dick off but it won't give you functioning female genitals. And for this reason I think you don't "trans" to "female," you "trans" to "none." To keep your female appearance, you still need hormone injection after "trans" that will reduces your lifespan. I quote it because I think it's a hypocrisy.

_________________

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Skype Account
FurryQueen
General


Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Location: Liyue

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 6:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

MadHQ wrote:
Why?

That's a loaded question and goes deep into the rabbit hole that is my completly fucked up mind. But to summarize things, I've wrestled with this for over two decades of my life. I can't run from it forever and it's only gotten worse over the last six months. I made the decision to quit running.

G-E wrote:
I thought it was pretty clear, mental illness...

While that is a part of things, it's not the only thing. It's a bit more complicated than that and not haphazardly decided. It's a decision that can really ruin a lot of things.

Banshee wrote:
Gender choice is not mental illness. It is a choice. You don't need to agree with it, but you have to respect it. If Fen feels comfortable that way, I hope it is for the best.

Actively deciding to transition is a choice, but the underlying reason for the need to do so is, most decidedly, not one. If I could choose, I would not choose the most difficult path available. Nor would my closest friends. Regardless of that, I do expect at least the same respect I had before. If it was none already, I don't demand more.

TAK02 wrote:
Apologies if this sounds mean to any of you, but I am curious about this subject as I never really ventured into it, completely lack experience in this subject, and simply come from a different culture (i.e. I'm not integrated into Western culture and its shenanigans).

I don't mind questions or a lack of understanding. The only way you can learn is by asking politely. This is actually not even a Western thing. It happens in all cultures, but it's just being more accepted in the Western world. Fun fact - the best surgeons in the world for this operation actually come from the East (S. Korea and Thailand). Mostly for the wrong reasons unfortunately...

TAK02 wrote:
While I don't 100% agree with G-E saying it's a mental illness (even though I still think it is a possible symptom more than anything, or maybe even some sort of neural damage, regardless of how & when it came to be, or it could be the way you were raised as a child (I mean small, seemingly meaningless details)), I don't agree with Banshee's "Gender is choice" either.

Oh no, trust me, gender dysphoria is a mental illness and it can be crippling. I'm one of the lucky ones who didn't commit suicide before transition because of it. It's often difficult to pinpoint what prompts things but it could be something large or something seemingly innocuous. In my case, I couldn't really tell you any specific event. It's a culmination of life experiences and a feeling that began around the time I hit 12 or 13, which marks 20 years of wrestling with this. Gender itself isn't a choice, despite what the morons rooted too far in identity politics will tell you, but transition itself is a choice. I had to make it over the last few months.

TAK02 wrote:
I think that, if born a boy, you ought to remain a boy, with the same applying to girls. I think this view originates from the belief that everything happening, including gender at birth, has a reason. Whether it's for the good or bad is another matter.

For the most part, you'd probably be right. But there is a growing population of us who just cannot live in the body we were born with. I wasn't born male for any specific reason. All it has done is serve to make my life more difficult and give me this uneasy feeling of being wrong and off for decades of time. I was born wrong and I have to take steps to change it.

TAK02 wrote:
So basically, it could be better for you in the long run if you stay a boy, or remain a girl to end of your days. As you don't really know what'll happen in the future, it's best to leave this kind of thing alone.
(You could say God has a reason for, say, Fen being born a boy, and not girl, hence why I'm reluctant to this touchy subject. Whether it'll benefit you or someone else is, again, another matter. The point is, there's reason we can't see.)

No, I know what will happen if I force myself into the wrong gender. It will end in suicide. I already live with severe clinical depression and non-specific anxiety. Gender dysphoria compounds this problem tenfold. While the benefits are not set in stone by any means and there is still a chance it will be naught, I have to move forward with the best choice I can possibly make. I've already told my family and they're supportive so I'd really rather not make my parents bury a child over this. Mentally ill people already have a shorter lifespan. I don't want to shorten it any further.

I don't believe in God anyway. I'm a complete atheist but even if he did exist, he gave us free will to make our own choices. I don't think God would want us to be perpetually unhappy for his gratification.

TAK02 wrote:
I do agree with Banshee when he says we must all respect the choices others make (as long as they're old enough mentally), but regarding Fen's choice, I can only shake my head.

I expect you to respect my choices and not be a prick about it. I don't demand that everyone just blindly agree. That's the not the goal. My goal is simply to be happy with my life and with myself. Right now, I am not and this is my way of doing so.

TAK02 wrote:
Again, apologies if anything offended you or hurt you. I just don't know anything about this kind of thing. Seriously, I don't even what exactly transgender is supposed to mean! Again, I'm sorry.

Transgender functionally means that I was born in the wrong body. I should have been born as a girl but I was not, and I have to take steps to make my body image align with my internal reality. But no, I'm not upset or offended. I would like common understanding and you only get that by asking questions.

LKO wrote:
"Gender choice" is the wrong term. It's more like born in the wrong body and having the opportunity and modern technology to correct that.
This is also no western shenanigan. It's more like not being narrow-minded , religiously blinded, science/facts ignoring and acknowledging that there isn't only black or white, good or bad, true or false.

Gender choice isn't the right term, yes. It's more of an internal feeling and knowledge that something is wrong. Sometimes it takes a while to understand it, such is my case. But yes, not being narrow and being open to new ideas is only going to serve to move humanity forward.

LKO wrote:
Good luck Fen, hope it turns out the better for you. At least you don't have to get a new PPM nickname.

I need it to turn out better. Otherwise, I won't last long on the mortal coil. I hate to say that but it's the sad truth. It's the sad inevitability for many of us trans people, even with a successful transition. But, if my quality of life is better afterwards, even if I cut my life short, the changes will be fully worth the difficulties.

G-E wrote:
And don't tell me someone suicidal isn't mentally ill.

BTW the current statistics are approximately 41% of "trans" people kill themselves, and surgery doesn't seem to change this, because they are mentally unstable.

Yes, someone who is suicidal is often unstable but sometimes, we're actually not. I have contemplated suicide even while fundamentally stable. Mental illness is often the trigger, I won't deny that of course.

Most trans people are already mentally ill. Such is my case and the case of my closest friends. Those problems often persist after transition, which doesn't always need any surgery by the way. Most times it's the lingering depression that actually causes the suicide, rather than being trans itself. There are many factors to it and being trans is usually a small part of the puzzle.

TAK02 wrote:
This is exactly the point where my brain crashes: How do you know you're born in the wrong body? I mean, isn't it perfectly normal for boys to like things some girls do (#Brony) and vice-versa?

Because, from my perspective, girls can act like boys and like what boys like (apparently, C&C used to have a female fan-base), and boys can go and do some girly things, like watching MLP on ...was is it Sunday?..

So how does this 'abnormal', sometimes girl-like behavior of a boy translate to being a girl stuck in a boy's body?

This is always the most difficult point to put into words. There's not always a tangible reason trans people can use to explain it. It's more of a fundamental feeling within one's mind that causes it. There is likely a biological basis and it's actually been proven that trans people have more brain characteristics of the opposite sex. Unfortunately, it's not just "doing girl things" that triggers it. It's a deeper issue with the self. I wish I could give a more concrete answer but it differs between people. I've just had the feeling things were wrong since around the time I became a teenager and it's stuck with me for a long time. Had little to do with behavior and more to do with that thing you can't quite put your finger on but you know something is wrong.

Mig EWater wrote:
I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been doing that well, I hope that this change will help.

Thanks. It sucks though. I'd never wish this on anyone.

Mig Eater wrote:
I think that is asking to much of this place...

More than likely.

LKO wrote:
concerning suicide i always liked the following sentence
"It's easy to find 100 reasons to go on the long voyage, but already one is enough to stay."
Be it family, friends, hobbies that you like, things you always wanted to do, places to visit and maybe helping others to find joy (e.g. charity work) will help you too.
There's so much to simply enjoy life.

That's a great platitude and it works for most people I'd say. For me, it's not that simple when you wrestle with mental illness and gender dysphoria. Those problems will easily overpower any good things in your life. On the surface, my life isn't bad. I have a good job, a nice car, an excellent family, a fun hobby and great friends. Unfortunately, all of that still doesn't overpower my own internal storm clouds. Seriously, they're horrifying. It's why I've wanted to simply end my life. I've gotten away from it but it gets harder the older I get. And I'd hazard a guess that most mentally ill people have a similar experience.

G-E wrote:
The mistake people like FQ make is that growing a beard or cutting their dick off won't change any of that...  if they don't have a reason, they still won't.

I'm well aware that most things will still be there but I want to eliminate one of the worst problems I have to endure. This is more about quality of life and comfort than trying to eliminate any other problems.

LKO wrote:
If one problem leads to (or is partially responsible for) the other, why shouldn't it help to "solve" the first one!? ("" as it can't solve it 100% but at least help to feel better in your own body)

I wish transition was a magic bullet cure, but it's not. It should definitely help but it won't make depression and anxiety go away. However, if it makes them easier to handle, the change is fully worth it.

PP wrote:
I have a confession, i am not female (as TAK02 knows) i just wanted to hide it, however i am not masculine who is very manly and very male voice or even manly deeds, nor feminine who is very female on almost everything, i do man missions, but i am not 100% man, simply because i had most of my genetics are from my mother, and rare ones are from the father, i don't have any sign of baldness, i don't like heavy lifting often in sports, most is other but lifting, but what is man on me is being a gentlman and man's braveness for example.

So, i am in the middle of male (75% or less, not more).

And that's totally fine. If you're comfortable with yourself, all the better. Unfortunately, I'm not. I would like to be, but it won't be as a man. Either way, be grateful that you don't have to endure this bullshit. Enjoy your life. That's what I want.

g-e wrote:
Think of it this way, whatever is wrong the way things are, there will be all new things wrong after any drugs or surgery; if the body doesn't match the mind 100% now, it for sure won't match 100% after either.

There isn't a 100% until medicine can completely alter someone down to their genetics. Right now, I'm aiming to look and sound like a girl. It won't be 100 percent and I know that, but if it brings the same comfort, it's a success. Being a mental illness, it's not always easy to give a concrete answer.

TAK02 wrote:
Apologies if it sounds like I'm framing gay-ness and transgender-ness as illnesses, but I don't know how else to word it. It is, IMHO, a sign something is wrong, akin to a cold or similar.

Being trans is definitely a mental illness and I wouldn't argue otherwise. However, different sexuality isn't a mental illness. That actually does occur in nature.

TAK02 wrote:
That's exactly the point I was trying to make: Everyone is different. Some boys like girly stuff, like drama and soap opera (can't confirm, but either way, I say nuke the opera), and some girls like to go and play games you can be brutal and violent in (like Yandere Simulator or C&C).

Everyone is different, yes. That is fundamentally true. However, some of us deal with issues that very few have to wrestle with. Unless you've actually had to experience this, you really won't understand the struggle. And that's perfectly fine. I'm not asking you to get inside my mind to unravel the mystery. I don't expect anyone to get it. All I'm trying to say is that this is a real problem and a real struggle where no amount of platitudes will change it. All I really want is understanding and the understanding that I'm not really a freak. Just another person with a severe problem that needs treatment.

TAK02 wrote:
Indeed, that's what I think too.
The actual problem, however, is looking for HOW and WHY the mind is as 'messed-up' as it is.

For instance (and apologies to all who feel insulted and offended by this), I am firmly convinced being gay is something that DEVELOPS over time, as opposed to something you're born with.
Basically, if a boy confesses to another boy, then you can be sure someone raised the confessor to like boys. Alternatively, something in the boy's life happened and gay-dom is a mere symptom or result of said incident. Of course, the same goes for girls.
Alternatively, transgender might also be an (in-)direct symptom of the same source/problem.

Again, I'm VERY out of the loop regarding these subjects, so, again, apologies in advance.

"Messed up" is a little insulting but different is an apt description. Sexuality and gender are more innate than you realize. I've lived a relatively normal life for middle class America, yet I am transgender and bisexual. My brother came from the same upbringing and he's nowhere near the same. I was born with the things that have shaped much of my life. Experiences do have an effect and it can be a noticeable one. Getting bullied has fueled my depression but I had anxiety long before I really got heavily bullied. There is an inborn trait that causes people to be mentally ill, be transgender or not be heterosexual. My brother and I being polar opposites in many ways is at least some small amount of proof of things being there from the start, rather than simply being developed.

Banshee wrote:
Doing that kind of transformation is a radical and a dangerous decision nowadays, since, there is mutilation and it is irreversible.

Actually, the base treatment of hormone replacement therapy is relatively safe. It can still go wrong but the chances of it are slim and not everyone needs the surgery to be happy. I still have yet to decide on that portion but I will begin HRT in the next month or two. HRT can actually be mostly reversed, especially post-puberty.

cxtian39 wrote:
AFAIK at current phase "trans" surgery is very awkward. It's merely an appearance change that cuts your dick off but it won't give you functioning female genitals. And for this reason I think you don't "trans" to "female," you "trans" to "none." To keep your female appearance, you still need hormone injection after "trans" that will reduces your lifespan. I quote it because I think it's a hypocrisy.

You trans to female since it can be a state of mind and that's how you see yourself. Like I said above, you don't need to "get it" but you should at least be respectful of someone's choice and their struggles. I also don't need injections. HRT comes in pill form too, and yes, I will need it forever. Reduced lifespan comes from suicide, not a fundamentally shorter lifespan.

I fail to see how any of this hypocritical. It's a very real and very difficult struggle. Acting like it's some fake bullshit only serves to make you look like a narrow-minded right-wing dipshit.

_________________
KGR | AT
AZUR
Discord: theastronomer1836
Steam

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Skype Account
PussyPus
Commander


Joined: 14 Jul 2015
Location: Egypt

PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2018 7:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Quote:
PP wrote:
I have a confession, i am not female (as TAK02 knows) i just wanted to hide it, however i am not masculine who is very manly and very male voice or even manly deeds, nor feminine who is very female on almost everything, i do man missions, but i am not 100% man, simply because i had most of my genetics are from my mother, and rare ones are from the father, i don't have any sign of baldness, i don't like heavy lifting often in sports, most is other but lifting, but what is man on me is being a gentlman and man's braveness for example.

So, i am in the middle of male (75% or less, not more).

And that's totally fine. If you're comfortable with yourself, all the better. Unfortunately, I'm not. I would like to be, but it won't be as a man. Either way, be grateful that you don't have to endure this bullshit. Enjoy your life. That's what I want.


I forgot to mention that my body is not 100% man body too, i also have a slight curve under the waist, i don't even have a real man torso and the butt is wide but medium sized and not small, but what is man on me is my waist is normal, and also arms.

_________________
If you are a MetalHead (Heavy Metal Fan) and don't want to be a metalhead, Just remove your metal ball from your head. �:p .

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message ModDB Profile ID Skype Account
Ich-Henker
Flamethrower


Joined: 06 Aug 2015
Location: Germany

PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2018 4:39 pm    Post subject:   Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I wish you all the Best!

I studied and finished psychology so I know about the delicate balance that is a personality and about the finess and problems of terms like mental illness, when then applying the problems of theory of science and trends in science one is rather not implemented to judge and think in black and white and stigmatize people out of a reflex to make things simple for onerself.

With this in mind, I again want to wish you all the best and it fills me with pride that you dared to speak out in this forums openly!

To me gender is non-binary, seperated in biological and social gender,a rather useless category, i prefer human and personality - it is equally useless as race - a complex matter, but shurely labels do not help anyone or society as a whole: categories are a cheap way of the human mind to govern things to complicated for him or to ressource heavy, or to remain the same and refuse change and progress - so simple opinions on complex matters are to be expected.

Stay, or become strong!

From the heart,A. Smile

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
G-E
Defense Minister


Joined: 09 Feb 2015

PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2018 8:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Icy I studied psychology before these things were accepted, but I've also studied people all my life in an attempt to predict them (rather than merely judge as most people) and I've become quite good at it. People can end up believing all kinds of nonsense as an escape from reality, and never should we elevate these ideas to be more than incorrect.

Which is why I completely disagree with Banshee's assertion that we should respect any trans-whatever choice a person makes, firstly because respect is something you earn, but it's much more than that. If I *must* respect someone's wishes or ideas, then I would have to respect pedos and hitmen, I'd have to respect the ideology of Wahabbis, I'd have to respect feminism that wants to make women the dominant force in society despite everything they might say nice.

You can absolutely be dead wrong because you didn't think something through adequately, you can be delusional, you can be incoherent or confused, I can accept that, but I'm not willing to take it any farther.

Otherwise I'd have agree to calling a man pretending to be a woman, a woman, which means if a man pretending to be a woman wants to have sex with a man like me, I couldn't object on the grounds that they aren't a woman.... do you understand this isn't a slippery slope, it's a cliff edge, either you stand on firm ground or you fall into the abyss of nonsense.

Let me ask if this sounds sane: "I think you're a sexy woman, I just find your penis a big turnoff" ?



traps.jpg
 Description:
 Filesize:  82.77 KB
 Viewed:  5347 Time(s)

traps.jpg



mentalillness.jpg
 Description:
 Filesize:  81.71 KB
 Viewed:  5347 Time(s)

mentalillness.jpg



_________________
http://www.moddb.com/mods/scorched-earth-ra2-mod-with-smart-ai

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
PussyPus
Commander


Joined: 14 Jul 2015
Location: Egypt

PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2018 10:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Will you make a 'before & after' pictures when you finish? I will do that to compare my age between 16 & 19 (When we reach 2019-2020)

_________________
If you are a MetalHead (Heavy Metal Fan) and don't want to be a metalhead, Just remove your metal ball from your head. �:p .

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message ModDB Profile ID Skype Account
FurryQueen
General


Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Location: Liyue

PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2018 3:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Quote:
Will you make a 'before & after' pictures when you finish? I will do that to compare my age between 16 & 19 (When we reach 2019-2020)

Probably not a before. At least at the moment. There's probably a picture of me floating around anyway.

g-e, I knew you were dense but you could at least try not being a dick. I know, I'm asking a lot here but quit being a dick. Seriously, it's getting tiring and I am not here to actually debate the merits of someone being trans. There's merit and if you don't like that, well... you're a dick. Plain and simple. I expect you to act like a human being but that's too much for you. You are completely incapable of showing empathy. You should get tested for psychopathy. You certainly show all the damn traits. I would prefer if that tirade of assery got removed so this can stay somewhat sane and so I can delete this miniature rant.

_________________
KGR | AT
AZUR
Discord: theastronomer1836
Steam

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Skype Account
4StarGeneral
General


Joined: 14 Sep 2006
Location: Limbo

PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2018 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Just wanted to let you know Fen, I support the shit out of your choice and I hope it makes you much happier.

EDIT: grammar

_________________
"Don't beg for things; Do it yourself or you'll never get anything."

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail YouTube User URL
Banshee
Supreme Banshee


Also Known As: banshee_revora (Steam)
Joined: 15 Aug 2002
Location: Brazil

PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2018 4:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

^ 100% agreed with 4StarGeneral's last post.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Skype Account
G-E
Defense Minister


Joined: 09 Feb 2015

PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2018 6:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

FurryQueen wrote:
There's merit and if you don't like that, well... you're a dick. Plain and simple. I expect you to act like a human being but that's too much for you. You are completely incapable of showing empathy.

I am an empath, that's how I became calloused, but that's another story...

That last response wasn't directed at you, it was just a general outburst of incredulity at what people are expecting, not just of me, but of themselves. And where the logic ultimately leads.

Frankly I don't care what you do to yourself, it's not my place to judge, nor do I have a vested interest. You go right ahead and do whaever you want, and I'm not going to morally object....

That said, I was just trying to be the voice of reason, I have studied people long enough to know what they "want" is rarely what they "need", and I've seen no evidence to suggest that changing your body will make any difference to your mental health, except possibly give you a misplaced sense of pride in the accomplishment. I don't think it will solve any of your problems, and I am sure it will create new ones.

Perhaps people here take those new problems too lightly...

_________________
http://www.moddb.com/mods/scorched-earth-ra2-mod-with-smart-ai

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Banshee
Supreme Banshee


Also Known As: banshee_revora (Steam)
Joined: 15 Aug 2002
Location: Brazil

PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2018 3:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Voice of reason with prefabricated and generalized ideas about a situation where you have never studied deeply? And all that based on cheap assumptions.



voice of emotion.png
 Description:
Did you mean voice of emotion?
 Filesize:  2.7 KB
 Viewed:  5236 Time(s)

voice of emotion.png



Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Skype Account
4StarGeneral
General


Joined: 14 Sep 2006
Location: Limbo

PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2018 4:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

G-E wrote:
That said, I was just trying to be the voice of reason, I have studied people long enough to know what they "want" is rarely what they "need", and I've seen no evidence to suggest that changing your body will make any difference to your mental health, except possibly give you a misplaced sense of pride in the accomplishment. I don't think it will solve any of your problems, and I am sure it will create new ones.

Perhaps people here take those new problems too lightly...


Actually there several people I know, directly or otherwise, that have gone through it and after 6+ years they can still say they're very happy where they are in life and with their significant others, one even found their SO about 4 years into transitioning so I know there's alot of hope. I don't know anyone that regrets it, but I would think the ones that do are people that do it without any support from family and friends that almost instantly regret it. Though another regret would be getting surgery done by the wrong people and mistakes were made, but considering it seems Fen put in the time to research it to avoid that and she is only undergoing HRT so far, I think it'll be good. Not to mention how can you even question 20 years of "this is wrong"?
You have to be brave to do it anyway and though only knowing Fen by her C&C forum presence, I think she's generally "ztyping bold" enough. #Tongue




G-E wrote:
Icy I studied psychology

Bullshit and every time you post you deny it.

_________________
"Don't beg for things; Do it yourself or you'll never get anything."

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail YouTube User URL
G-E
Defense Minister


Joined: 09 Feb 2015

PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2018 8:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Banshee wrote:
... ideas about a situation where you have never studied deeply?

You're right I haven't studied gender dysphoric people in depth, but I did study abnormal pyschology. If you read what I said again, you'll notice the main claim I made is people make fundamental mistakes in thinking they want/desire something, when either they don't, they are trying to live up to some expectation/ideal with it, or they want something that will not satisfy the actual deficiency in their life.

I just saw one of those stupid facebook video clips the other day about a fat girl claiming that fat clothing shouldn't be more expensive, she argues it's a fat tax, without ever considering it costs more to produce and stock than a skinny version. Like I say people willingly hold onto delusions and tragedies of their own making, they carry them around as important, because they have constructed it as part of their ego. Sometimes the self-destructive behaviour even becomes an outlet for an otherwise mundane and safe existence.

This whole nonsense about gender fluidity or a spectrum of genders can't get past the very basic problem of expectations, self-image, social position, things _everyone_ deals with. If no one could wear makeup, everyone shaved their heads, and wore unisex clothing, half the "gender" arguments disappear. In what rational universe does having long hair and lipstick make you a girl when you aren't?

As I said, what I learned I learned before this anti-conformist gender-bending shit became a thing... and I've seen a whole lot of asserted "facts" without a whole lot of "research" to back it up. Just like feminists keep trotting out the 1-in-4 college girls get raped bs, and no actual crime statistics can back it up.

PS. I'm not sure how many of you pay enough attention to see the gender wars affecting feminism, trans advocacy and other identitarian groups, they are all going through a form of American Oppression Gladiators... they are eating each other and attacking their ideologies routinely, it's not their mortal enemy "straight white males" (who largely don't care) but other interest groups: http://theterfs.com/category/transphobic-feminism/

_________________
http://www.moddb.com/mods/scorched-earth-ra2-mod-with-smart-ai

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
OmegaBolt
President


Joined: 21 Mar 2005
Location: York, England

PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2018 9:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

This doesn't make him a political entity though, so I don't think there's any need to bring any of this stuff up. I don't think Fen was asking for advice either, the decision has been made.

No matter what I think about the general subject, good luck and I hope its everything you want it to be. Part of is surprised you didn't go through this earlier based on general exposure to you over the last 13 years. #Tongue

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Aro
Alcohol Fueled


Joined: 10 Sep 2006

PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2018 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

All the best.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
AlexB
Commander


Joined: 31 May 2010
Location: Germany

PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2018 10:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I wish you all the best and all the strength needed!

_________________

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
PussyPus
Commander


Joined: 14 Jul 2015
Location: Egypt

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2018 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Have you done the transition?

_________________
If you are a MetalHead (Heavy Metal Fan) and don't want to be a metalhead, Just remove your metal ball from your head. �:p .

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message ModDB Profile ID Skype Account
Mechacaseal
AA Infantry


Joined: 29 Aug 2015

PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2018 2:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

ive herd that there are about as many transsexual people as there are schizophrenics. so basically its as common as a mental illness. they also do tend to kill themselves at extremely high rates and tend to not be happy even after surgery. i think we can all agree though that something is wrong with them. either theyre in the "wrong body" or theyre mentally ill and want to be something that theyre not. rather than being in the wrong body which sounds retarded as hell its better to just say they have mental problems. a personality problem. surgeries and everything like that are a feeble attempt to make the person feel better. im sure a lot of people arent happy with who they are.

about 10 years ago i used to say i wished i was a girl. these days i dont ever think or say that. i was in a weird state of mind. funnily enough i was mental as hell back then too.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
G-E
Defense Minister


Joined: 09 Feb 2015

PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2018 1:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread


_________________
http://www.moddb.com/mods/scorched-earth-ra2-mod-with-smart-ai

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
TAK02
General


Joined: 28 Jun 2015
Location: It was Damascus.

PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2018 5:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

G-E wrote:
https://www.newsweek.com/transgender-women-transgender-men-sex-change-sex-reassignment-surgery-676777
In other words, just 'cause you can do something, doesn't mean you should go and do it unless you're completely out of options, especially with perhaps-irreversable changes/operations.

In other news, drop it.
If Fen wants to go that way, then let himher.
I'm not going to stop her.
But again, as my own views conflict with decisions of this type, don't go asking me for help either (which is I meant to say when I wrote "I can only shake my head"), as I wouldn't trust myself with this, and you should go to someone more open to such changes than I am.

(apologies, but unknown gender defaults to male for me. didn't know they was a thing and by now it's far too late to go change the default value for the gender flag in the EXE Smile)

G-E, drop it.

@Banshee: maybe locking this topic before G-E or someone else finds it would be a good idea.

_________________
One and only developer of the Command & Conquer Dune "C&C D" mod.
m7 wrote:
I tend to release things I create so that assets are never lost to hard drive problems, accidental deletion, or me having to pretend to care about rippers taking things from my project when it is done. #Tongue

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website ModDB Profile ID YouTube User URL Twitter Channel URL Skype Account
PussyPus
Commander


Joined: 14 Jul 2015
Location: Egypt

PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

G-E wrote:
https://www.newsweek.com/transgender-women-transgender-men-sex-change-sex-reassignment-surgery-676777


Then how many regrets exactly??

_________________
If you are a MetalHead (Heavy Metal Fan) and don't want to be a metalhead, Just remove your metal ball from your head. �:p .

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message ModDB Profile ID Skype Account
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic Page 1 of 1 [38 Posts] Mark the topic unread ::  View previous topic :: View next topic
 
Share on TwitterShare on FacebookShare on Google+Share on DiggShare on RedditShare on PInterestShare on Del.icio.usShare on Stumble Upon
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum


Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group

[ Time: 0.2438s ][ Queries: 16 (0.0161s) ][ Debug on ]