Project Perfect Mod Forums
:: Home :: Get Hosted :: PPM FAQ :: Forum FAQ :: Privacy Policy :: Search :: Memberlist :: Usergroups :: Register :: Profile :: Log in to check your private messages :: Log in ::


The time now is Thu Mar 28, 2024 5:13 pm
All times are UTC + 0
The life of a G.I.
Moderators: Global Moderators, Offtopic Moderators
Post new topic   Reply to topic Page 1 of 1 [17 Posts] Mark the topic unread ::  View previous topic :: View next topic
Author Message
hotrods20
Commander


Joined: 27 Jul 2009

PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 2:55 am    Post subject:  The life of a G.I. Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

It was a very brisk morning as I stepped out of my barracks. I could see the drill teams training for the war. I then was greeted by my commander Von Halowitz. "Hello sir" I said very happily. "Good morning private" He said very seriously. I asked him what was wrong with a very upset tone. He said very unhappily "Where going to war, private".

It was a very dark day indeed. We where on are way to a man slaughter against the Russians. I was approached by my fellow solider McHalberd. He said with a bit cheery tone "We finally get to see some action". I said very unhappily "If we die think about your family and friends".

As we approach the beach in are Amphibious hover craft some sniper fire hits several people. I was almost one of the unlucky ones. I started firing my gun at the Russian trenches. After an hour of fighting a man came up to me and told me I was given veteran status. I accepted my new status with a glee.

As we approach the end of our journey to the heart of Russia we encounter a Russian elite squad. I hear them yell out "нападение" very loudly. After a hour long battle with this elite squad of Russians I was approached again with news of being promoted to Elite.

It was the final battle as my commander said. We where on our final offense on the Russian capital. Me and my men approach the Capital of Russia once and for all. Heavy Sniper Fire was hitting us all at once. I was hit in each limb except my head. In the final minute of life I saw my commander, Hotrods20 the man who led us to this great battle on the front line of Russia.

нападение means attack.

So how you people like want more to story or new story.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
gufu
Defense Minister


Joined: 22 Dec 2004
Location: Tiberium Research Center N27

PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 8:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

That's not a story. That's an outline, which is clustered together, and barely makes up a paragraph. Now, write an actual story.

_________________
DUNK!

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Skype Account
hotrods20
Commander


Joined: 27 Jul 2009

PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 9:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Okay how about "The little fairy dragon that only appears when I sniff this white stuff"

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Gangster
Commander


Joined: 11 Jun 2004
Location: Moscow, Russia

PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 9:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

hotrog20 wrote:
I hear them yell out "нападение"very loudly.


ROFL. oh c'mon!

_________________
Gangster is a Project Perfect Wuj (c)Aro

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
hotrods20
Commander


Joined: 27 Jul 2009

PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 9:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

ENGLISH:
What do you mean i see no problem with that.

RUSSIAN:
Что ты имеешь в виду я не вижу никаких проблем с этим.

GERMAN:
Was meinst du ich sehe kein Problem damit.

PORTUGUESE
O que quer dizer que eu não vejo nenhum problema com isso.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
EVA-251
General


Also Known As: evanb90
Joined: 20 Feb 2005
Location: o kawaii koto

PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 10:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

hotrods20 wrote:
ENGLISH:
What do you mean i see no problem with that.

First, translator programs don't carry over context. I'm pretty sure that's what's going on here.

Second, I'm pretty sure you used a translator for that. And if you did, put the phrases back into the translator and see how they come out. (or let native speakers enjoy reading them...)

I won't get into an analysis of your story, as it would be longer than what you typed.
I'll just say that:
1- There is no "Veteran" or "Elite" rank. If you want to blindly follow Red Alert 2's veterancy symbols, you'd say Private (E-2...?) and Sergeant.
2- Including yourself as the glorious leader, using your username = goofy.
3- Almost no dialogue, all of it is childish.
4- Capital of Russia? Why not mention it by name?

_________________
YR modder/artist, DOOM mapper, aka evanb90
Project Lead Developer, New-Star Strike (2014-)
Former Project Lead Developer Star Strike (2005-2012), Z-Mod (2006-2007), RA1.5 (2008-2013), The Cold War (2006-2007)

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Gangster
Commander


Joined: 11 Jun 2004
Location: Moscow, Russia

PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 5:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

"атака" is your word. or "В Атаку!" if it is a warcry, or better use "В Бой!" because it even more shorter to yell.

_________________
Gangster is a Project Perfect Wuj (c)Aro

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
AltomareXD
General


Joined: 22 May 2008

PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Should have used Enak.

...

ENAK LOL!

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Deformat
Defense Minister


Joined: 17 Sep 2007

PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 7:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

@Eva:No one knows the capital of Russia.Its top secret,you know.
@Altomare:So true,yet so sad.
@the guy who wrote this:Learn from Eva.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
hotrods20
Commander


Joined: 27 Jul 2009

PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 10:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I learned that ill never make it as a writer if only a draft of a story that I was trying to get some more ideas rolling from was forever more banished here I will write a new one called ENAK.

Once upon a time in crazysweatyball land. A man named Enak wo had a stinky poo in his shoo. Said to a man with a wittle pittle in his pant's "Oh me oh me." The man with a wittle pittle in his pants asked whats wrong very happily "What is wrong oh Enak oh Enak." As Enak answered with a very very sad frown "I don't have any credits and I need to wet it." and you all can end this however you want.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Volgin
Commander


Joined: 07 Mar 2009

PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 10:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

...

What the fu ck? Oh my God, its like sevelys was a writer.

_________________
Victory!

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
DaFool
Defense Minister


Joined: 07 Nov 2006

PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 10:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

"I won't get into an analysis of your story, as it would be longer than what you typed."

ROFL. You really need to churn out details. An entire battle in two sentences? being granted status? Thats paper work IRL, and also, this guy knows russian?

_________________
Please, read the signature rules of the forum.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
hotrods20
Commander


Joined: 27 Jul 2009

PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 10:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread


Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
AltomareXD
General


Joined: 22 May 2008

PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 1:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

So that's Google. Too bad it can't fix your story.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
gufu
Defense Minister


Joined: 22 Dec 2004
Location: Tiberium Research Center N27

PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 3:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

AltomareXD wrote:
So that's Google. Too bad it can't fix your story.

There is no story made, to be fixed.

_________________
DUNK!

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Skype Account
AltomareXD
General


Joined: 22 May 2008

PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 3:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Touche.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Eldrei
Missile Trooper


Joined: 11 Mar 2010
Location: Fixin' in mah PPM.

PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 4:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

hotrods20 wrote:
Google translate is a win win situation. if you don't know what google is go here to find out http://lmgtfy.com/?q=+What+is+Google

Thanks dude. I would have never known what it is. Rolling Eyes

Jackass.

_________________
Clazzy wrote:
If the concept of a God was never created, would we invent one to describe what's outside our universe?

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic Page 1 of 1 [17 Posts] Mark the topic unread ::  View previous topic :: View next topic
 
Share on TwitterShare on FacebookShare on Google+Share on DiggShare on RedditShare on PInterestShare on Del.icio.usShare on Stumble Upon
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum


Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group

[ Time: 0.1574s ][ Queries: 11 (0.0085s) ][ Debug on ]