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Please correct my English mistakes (homework)!
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Crash
Cyborg Commando


Joined: 30 Jan 2007
Location: Norway

PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 5:11 pm    Post subject:  Please correct my English mistakes (homework)! Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Just wrote this, could some of you please be so kind to correct my lame mistakes? Smile

Summary of “Genesis and catastrophe”
The short story “Genesis and catastrophe” is set in the late 19th century in Braunau, Germany. It revolves around an inn where a birth is going on. The main characters are Klara, Alois and Adolf, the midwife and the doctor. It is a 3rd person narrative story. The theme is historic drama.
Klara has just given birth to her son. Her previous three children had all died, and she fears that the newborn will die aswell. The doctor has a long conversation with Alois about how her other children died, and her strong fear of it happening again. Eventually, Alois, Klara's husband, is allowed to come in. Alois describes the baby as small and feeble, even compared to the others. The doctor and midwife try to assure that the baby is healthy, and they also ask the father to be more compassionate toward his wife and to hope for his son’s survival. At the end of the story, Klara prays, “He must live, Alois. He must, he must… Oh God, be merciful unto him now…” Her son is named Adolf, Adolf Hitler.

Summary of “The purse is mine”
The short story “The purse is mine” is set in the very early 21st century in South-Africa, in an unknown city. The main characters are Akufani and Vusi. It is a 3rd person narrative story. The theme revolves around criminality.
The short story “The purse is mine” begins with Akufani and Vusi catching a metro train. They talk about their profession: theft. Vusi says he's wanting to stop stealing and become an honest worker instead. Akufani tells him about the importance of “fast bucks” in order to maintain materialistic girlfriends. They leave the metro train, and we follow Akufani. He attempts to snatch a woman's purse, however, the women notices and he gets beaten up and then he flees. When he has successfully fled away from them, he wonders where Vusi is. Akufani then sees an old man with a purse, and he successfully steals it. However, two policemen see the act and walk to Akufani to question him. Akufani claims it to be his, something that the policemen don't believe. Akufani and the policemen walk to the old man, and he denies ownership of the purse. The policemen bring Akufani to the police station, being that they're so uncertain about the crime. At the police station, it is revealed that the purse is full of cocaine and marihuana.

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Deformat
Defense Minister


Joined: 17 Sep 2007

PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

I dunno why,but I think that marihuana is spelled differently.

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ORCACommander
Commander


Joined: 14 Feb 2006
Location: Flying into hostile territory

PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 8:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

it uses a J instead of an H

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DaFool
Defense Minister


Joined: 07 Nov 2006

PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 8:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

There are rules for titles of works

Books are underlined. The first letter of the first word is always capitalized, and all subsequent words are too, with the exception of "insignificant" words (as, and, a, the etc). So you would get War of the Worlds

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Beowulf
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Joined: 12 May 2003
Location: Furry Heaven

PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:53 am    Post subject: Re: Please correct my English mistakes (homework)! Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Fixed 1 wrote:
Summary of Genesis And Catastrophe
The short story Genesis And Catastrophe is set in the late nineteenth century in Braunau, Germany. It revolves around an inn where a birth is going on; the main characters are Klara, Alois, Adolf, the midwife and the doctor; it is a 3rd person narrative in a historic drama theme.

Klara has just given birth to her son. Her previous three children had all died and she fears that the newborn will die as well. The doctor has a long conversation with Alois about how her other children died, and her strong fear of it happening again. Eventually, Alois, Klara's husband, is allowed to come in. He describes the baby as small and feeble, even compared to the others. The doctor and midwife try to assure her that the baby is healthy and they ask the father to be more compassionate toward his wife and to hope for his son's survival. At the end of the story, Klara prays, "He must live, Alois. He must, he must… Oh God, be merciful unto him now…" Her son is named Adolf, Adolf Hitler.


Fixed 2 wrote:
Summary of The Purse Is Mine
The short story The Purse Is Mine is set in the very early twenty-first century in an unknown city in South Africa. The main characters are Akufani and Vusi; it is a third person narrative and revolves around criminality.

The story begins with Akufani and Vusi catching a metro train. They talk about their profession: theft. Vusi says he's wanting to stop stealing and become an honest worker instead. Akufani tells him about the importance of 'fast bucks' in order to maintain materialistic girlfriends. They leave the metro train where we follow Akufani. He attempts to snatch a woman's purse. However, the woman notices and he gets beaten up where he flees. When he has successfully fled, he wonders where Vusi is. Akufani then sees an old man with a purse, and he successfully steals it. However, two policemen see the act and walk to Akufani to question him. Akufani claims it to be his, something that the policemen don't believe. Akufani and the policemen walk to the old man, and he denies ownership of the purse. The policemen bring Akufani to the police station, being that they're so uncertain about the crime. At the police station, it is revealed that the purse is full of cocaine and marijuana.


I went ahead and tidied it up. Other than too many short broken sentences that could have easily been combined, not too bad really.

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Crash
Cyborg Commando


Joined: 30 Jan 2007
Location: Norway

PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote  Mark this post and the followings unread

Thanks for the help, everyone! Smile

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