:: Home :: Get Hosted :: PPM FAQ :: Forum FAQ :: Privacy Policy :: Search :: Memberlist :: Usergroups :: Register :: Profile :: Log in to check your private messages :: Log in ::
Do you want to advertise at Project Perfect Mod. Find out how to do it HERE.

The time now is Sat Jun 23, 2018 9:25 am
All times are UTC + 0
 Forum index » Miscellaneous Forums » Fan Fiction
Into the Cave
Moderators: Global Moderators, Offtopic Moderators
Post new topic   Reply to topic Page 1 of 1 [9 Posts] View previous topic :: View next topic
Author Message
St0rm
Laser Commando


Joined: 06 Apr 2009
Location: eating cheese sticks at my new laptop, getting constipated

PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2009 6:06 pm    Post subject:   Into the Cave
Subject description: A mutant's adventure
Reply with quote

Many people think that because I am a mutant I am dangerous to society. I am hunted constantly by both GDI and Nod just because of the the accident that made me into a mutant 3 years ago. I was ju15 years old and I loved exploring new places, mostly the caves found near my hometown of Samoha. Though I knew some caves were tiberium-infested but I knew which ones were so I didn't make the mistake of going into them. Apparently I didn't know all of the caves. While I was walking around Samoha's countryside, I fell off a steep hill about 8 feet tall. I looked back and saw a cave that I had somehow missed on my many walks here. Maybe the tunnel was built from an earthquake or animals, I wouldn't know but I decided to go into the cave and check it out. I pulled out my small flashlight. I always bring my flashlight no matter where I am. Today I was actually planning to visit a small cave near the ruins of the first Tiberian War where a town of 36,00 once lived before Nod came with GDI following. I started down into the cave and turned on my flashlight. I had to be careful here because I couldn't be sure if it was Tiberium-infested or not. I walked for a short while and heard a low humming noise near me. I started toward it. I felt my body shaking. My heart was pounding. My mind was racing. What was this? Why is it here? Should I call for help or investigate it myself? And many more questions were racing through my head. I found myself in a pit of radiant Tiberium. I went unconsious and that is all that I can remember.
_________________
Don't throw me into the briar patch.
You and your silly little words.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Lt Albrecht
Defense Minister


Joined: 25 Jul 2007
Location: Hampshire, England. Creating RA2: Moscow's vengeance

PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2009 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
When I rule the world, everybody will have little shrines of me in their rooms.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it

Yeah right, almost as bad as your fanfic, this. No offence for the fanfic but it needs some work. The english technique could use some polishing, the story is a little uninspired but not as bad as it could be.
_________________
Yes, work on MV continues. It is not forgotten.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Skype Account
Team Black
Defense Minister


Joined: 25 Sep 2006
Location: Georgia, USA Posts: Over 9000

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 4:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

you don't really make the reader feel sorry for the guy. Some punk goes exploring in caves for kicks, and is surprised when he's exposed to tiberium radiation.
If you ask me, he really had it coming.

Now, if you made him a little older, and gave him a good reason for being in a cave, like it was his job or something, that might make it more believable.
_________________
The Fall of Hammerfest - Epic Tiberian chain story

Tiberian Odyssey mapping department
The Team Black Index - Steam: TeamBlack aka BeastMode

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
St0rm
Laser Commando


Joined: 06 Apr 2009
Location: eating cheese sticks at my new laptop, getting constipated

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 11:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

@Lt Albrecht: You really don't like me do you? And yes when I rule the world it will be mandatory for everyone to have little shrines of me in their rooms Wink

@Team Black: Kids do stupid stuff all the time with consequences. I explore caves all the time around my hometown, it is call spelunking. FYI: He was cautious when he went into the cave but his curiousity drove him into the Tiberium pit.

EDIT: Besides this story isn't meant for you to be sorry for him, just to get to know a single mutation and what it (might) be like.
_________________
Don't throw me into the briar patch.
You and your silly little words.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Lt Albrecht
Defense Minister


Joined: 25 Jul 2007
Location: Hampshire, England. Creating RA2: Moscow's vengeance

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 3:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
@Lt Albrecht: You really don't like me do you? And yes when I rule the world it will be mandatory for everyone to have little shrines of me in their rooms

Don't take it personallly, I hold many people in contempt. It was the pesumptuous idea that you will rule the world. The day thast happens is the day orwell's "animal farm" comes true and the animals overthrow us all.
_________________
Yes, work on MV continues. It is not forgotten.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Skype Account
OmegaBolt
President


Joined: 21 Mar 2005
Location: York, England

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We are animals...
_________________
TAK02 wrote:
Screw AttachEffect. Can't think of any use for it.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Skype Account
Lt Albrecht
Defense Minister


Joined: 25 Jul 2007
Location: Hampshire, England. Creating RA2: Moscow's vengeance

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's part of the point, it ain't gonna happen.
_________________
Yes, work on MV continues. It is not forgotten.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Skype Account
DaFool
Defense Minister


Joined: 07 Nov 2006

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 9:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The little bit of smoke rose up and dissapated into the air. Gone. Vanished. Ash to Ash, yeah right. I flicked the cigarette into the distance, it landed a little ways out in the dust. No need to worry about fires anymore, everythings dead. I watched as the last bit or redness died down an dissapeared forever...

The cruiser pulled up behind me, I didn't turn around to see who it was, I didn't have to. "Ryan, have you seen any of the homeless people lately?" "No dad" I said, and I skated away on my board. Things were getting weird, a couple months ago some meteor hit Italy, and now everything seemed to be dieing, and now people are going missing. I met up with Vinny at the store, he was waiting for me ouside with a flashlight...

I heard a bang and I looked over my shoulder, Kevin just stormed through the door, lab coat and scrubs and all, and stood there fuming. "What's up?" I said, blowing a little bit smoke out. "Are you smoking again?" he demanded "You know thats going to mess up the..." "Hey!" I interupted, "What am I, just a number to you? A rat in a cage? Is that what I am?" This took kevin back a little, but he said "Come on man, if we're gonna find a cure, we need as much help as we can, just please, don't smoke". And with that, he left the roof. I looked back out to the horizon, and took a puff of the cigarette and looked down. I don't really smoke for for the same reason others do, it's just that the crystals on my chest light up whenever I take a puff...

Vinny tossed me a flashlight "We're going in the woods tonight" he said "some of those graffitti kids said they saw something by the old mines, we're gonna check it out". "Sure" I said, nothing like a night out right?

Life at the research center sucks. You're strapped to a table half the time and they chisel away at your body, cutting of the shards, sticking you with needles, basically your nothing more than a geuni pig. I sneak up here from time to time, it's my only escape, there's nothing else, no where else to go. The landscape for miles is desolate, nothing grows for miles, as far as I can. Even if I was to get out of here, I'd starve to death out there. The tiberium has taken over....

(insert part where the character finally comes into contact with tiberium inside the mine)
_________________
Please, read the signature rules of the forum.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
St0rm
Laser Commando


Joined: 06 Apr 2009
Location: eating cheese sticks at my new laptop, getting constipated

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 11:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice DaFool, I never thought of that. My next story will be an entirely finished one, just as soon as I stop having writer's block Sad .
_________________
Don't throw me into the briar patch.
You and your silly little words.

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic Page 1 of 1 [9 Posts] View previous topic :: View next topic
 Forum index » Miscellaneous Forums » Fan Fiction
Jump to:  
Share on TwitterShare on FacebookShare on Google+Share on DiggShare on RedditShare on PInterestShare on Del.icio.usShare on Stumble Upon
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum


Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group

Wildcard SSL Certificates
[ Time: 0.1315s ][ Queries: 12 (0.0189s) ][ Debug on ]