Your Noob if... (Renegade)
2. If you think your refinery getting destroyed is a good thing, you just might be a noob.
3. If you think its noobish to mine, you just might be a noob.
4. If you think after five failed attampt at a solo tranport helicopter rush that the next one might work, you might be a noob.
5. If you think shooting at the same spot in an open field with an arty for over 30 minutes non-stop will do anything, you might be a noob.
6. If you go up behind a sniper that is taking aim at another sniper and open fire at the target, you might be a noob.
7. If you think aircraft will do any good on a map full of snipers, you might be a noob.
8. If you try to take out a mammoth as a regular Nod soldier, you might be a noob.
9. If you complain about how wimpy an apache is after getting owned by an experienced pilot, you might be a noob.
10. If you are GDI and try to repair your vehicle in the field and it gets stolen, you might be a noob.
12. on hourglass, enemy loses their AGT and barr. if you think it's good to camp on the hill with a havoc/sakura, you might be a n00b.
13. if you take an enemy vehicle that's been left in your base by another player, you might be a noob.
14. if you rush the same building with a hotwire the whole game, and continually fail because they know you're coming, you just may be a noob.
15. you take a shotgunner into an open field and try to attack someone a mile away...you're a noob.
16. you think the pistol is the best weapon in the game, and you stand a good chance of destroying a fully healthed building guarded by 5 techs with one.
17. you programmed up the 'god crate'
18. you picked up the 'god crate'
19. If you consistently use your n00bjet to attack heavy armor just for the points, you might be a n00b.
20. If you resort to racist remarks when you're pissed off, you might be a n00b.
21. If you use a Flamer to try and counter a field full of MRLS and Meds, you might be a n00b.
22. If you hurl cheat accusations every time you get OWNED, you might be a n00b.
23. If you stack Prox C4 on a vehicle and try to kill a building by ramming it, you might be a n00b.
24. If you waste all 30 of your team's Prox/Remote C4s on the pedestal, you might be a n00b.
25. If you ram your allies' vehicles to get them out of your way (because you are so much more deserving, and they might draw some of the enemy's fire off you!), you might be a n00b.
26. If you buy a vehicle just to get to your favorite sniper nest, you might be a n00b.
27. If you try to rush the AGT alone, on foot, you might be a n00b.
28. If you buy a Mammy when the enemy is using all Arties, you might be a n00b.
29. When you're a sniper, sitting there happily sniping away, then you get caught and owned with a flamer or shotgunner coz you've pissed them off. Then when you go straight back with another sniper to the same place, you're a noob.
30. If you were a member of a clan with the words leaders and world in the name....
31. If you weren't around when orcas and apaches didn't exist......
32. If you think Glacier is anything but a waste of time.....
33. If you made Glacier...
34. If you or one of your friends knows somebody who has placed a nuke on the top of the hill on walls.....
35. If you have pleaded and begged to join a passworded server of someone you hate and who hates you back....
36. If you have ever mined the base with timed c4s.....
37. If you got the game at Texaco in a combo pack with a liter of antifreeze and a 5 pack of bubbleyum.....
38. If you are from gamespy.....
39. If you've ever posted a story at n00bstories that isn't real.....
40. You're the one who wants to let the wf die on field
41. You're on GDI and repeatedly jump out of your vehicles to get the CP1 crates.
42. You continue to crate camp on a server where the crates are 100% tib death (like ours, lol)
43. If you whisper obscenities at other players, then make up random bullshit to cover your ass when they reply calmly in general chat, you might be a n00b.
44. If you think that skill is determined by when a person started playing the game, you might be a n00b.
45. If you think your skill at the game determines how "right" or "wrong" you are, you might be a n00b (oh, well you can't beat me at a 1v1, STFU!!!!111!1111).
46. If you think that your team is to blame every time you ztype up, you might be a n00b.
47. If you think that basic infantry can't whip your $1000 super-soldier, you might be a n00b.
48. If you agitate for a tank rush when the enemy team consists of mostly anti-tank infantry with vehicle support all on defense, you might be a n00b.
49. If you're the uber-overkill defense in #48, and your team doesn't blast that n00b into oblivion, you might be a n00b.
50. You insist on demanding a 1v1 if you feel you have a point to make, as if winning that way will prove you're right, especially if you're in the wrong with regards to an argument
51. You think spawnkilling with a n00bjet takes 1337 skills
52. You sneak up behind somebody with a n00bjet, miss your first two shots, and get killed when the guy buys a shotgunner
53. You buy snipers every game and take 50 kills per se, then whine about server admins banning you.
54. If you try to pollkick people for cheating when a !forcerg fails, you might be a n00b
55. If you insist on 'testing' everybody who kills you, you probably are a n00b
56. If you end up trying to ban people for killing you despite lack of successful forcerg, lack of successful vote kick, and a passed test, you definitely are a n00b
57. If you defend the above 3 kinds of people, you might be a n00b
58. On field, you stand there with your engy right near the turret waiting for the tanks to come rolling back. It never occurs to you to repair the recently battered turret, despite me telling you 3 times (Why should I give up a Rav to repair a turret?). The next attack that comes along destroys said turret. You sir, are a noob
59. A complete noob calls you a cheater and you think you're the best player ever because of it.
60. if someone calls you a cheater and you rush to noobstories to tell of your tale, you may be a noob.
61. If one of your quotes is in Spoony's collection, you might be a n00b
62. You might be a n00b if you buy a mammoth tank and a havoc and an ion cannon beacon just because they cost so much. I mean that's got to be the best combination, since nothing costs more...
63. when your team is losing the game, you may be a noob if you say "hey lets kick some A", take a hummvee and standard shotgunner to fight off hoards of tanks and high level soldiers, rush on your own and get destroyed in 2 seconds flat without doing any damage to their team.
64. you deliberately exploit the vehicle bug to get you stuck inside the WF, so you can lay a beacon that noone can ever disarm.
65. you exploit the walls fly defense tower bug to get yourself stuck inside the wall, then sit and pick people off while being invincible to enemy fire.
66. you think the best way to win is to attack from long range with a chemical warrior.
67. you think it's likely you'll succeed in rushing the AGT with chemical warriors.
68.If you running in middle of tiberium field your NOOB!
69. If you are an engineer and think you can take on the obelisk with your handgun you are a noob and obviously demented with the brain capacity of an earth worm.
70) . . .you think putting the maximum(on most maps) of 30 mines in your Obelisk/Advanced Guard Tower is the way to go.
71) . . .you think that the Mammoth Tank can take anything more than two Tanks on its own without falling back.
72) . . .you think the Mammoth Tank is the best Vehicle unit for all purposes in the game.
73) . . .you think the Mammoth Tank has a range greater than that of any other Tank unit when using Slugs or Missiles.
74) . . .you think the Mobile Rocket Launcher System is a weak vehicle because of its speed and light armor.
75) . . .you open fire with any bullet-using or laser-using unit(excluding Raveshaw and Sydney 2), thinking that you can shoot clear across the map even if your reticle is grey.
76) . . .you don't reload between fights.
77) . . .you forget to use the Purchase Terminals between fights if not planting C4s or base raiding.
7
. . .you completely forego the Purchase Terminals in any All-Out-War game.
79) . . .you think the Rocket Soldiers and Gunner work well for destroying Infantry.
80) . . .you think Tiberium Mutant units are entirely useless, particularly against a team of Sydneys and Patchs.(Boy, did that match ever suck.)
81) . . .you don't think the Nod Chameleon is a DAMNED good one-man bombing run vehicle.
82) . . .you can't appreciate the GDI Sedan's speed, if only for running around the map.
83) . . .you call Snipers "cheater" when they regularly spawn-kill you and you can't find them.(This does not apply to Crazy CTF servers where units can and do fly when they get the Flight power-up.)
84) . . .you use Big Bomb, Big Head, Final Renegade, or any combination of these or any other Renegade cheat.
85) . . .you don't use RenGuard. :3
86) you try more than once to sneak behind enemy units and plant a beacon to destroy them.
87) you buy a vehicle while enemy vehicles are all over your airstrip and pounding the living crap out of it
8
someone sets up a mod where everything dies in one shot, and you, as the tech for the game, release ren 1.038 with it incorporated to completely ruin gameplay.
89) you were the one who set up the one-hit-killing mod.
90) you throw mines on the outsides of buildings in the hopes that enemies will brush past and blow themselves up.
91) you single handedly rush over the hill on hourglass with a flamer when they have meds/mammies all set up in defense.
92) you think one land mine in the middle of the field will destroy a full armoured tank.
93) you have the cheek to repair your tank whilst it is getting attacked.
94.) If you have ever played a roleplay and liked it....
95.) If your clan tags have the letters "O" "O" and "U" in that order.
96.) If you hate GSA because its the "cool" thing to do.
97.) If you ever fulfill your urge to put down as many remote c4s in an AOW game.
98.) If you think you are good because you can get MVP in a UNRULES server.
99.) If you ask "Why can't I buy Vehicles?" in a regular CTF server.
100) If you waltz into HazBot1 and blow your first 1000 credits on a Havoc/Sakura, you are a n00b.
101) If you think you can stop 6 Flame Tanks with 10 Havocs and Nothing Else, you are a n00b.
102) If you leave a vehicle in the middle of nowhere with nobody to even guard it, you are a n00b.
103) If you can't kill a MLRS with a Rav, you just might be a n00b.
104) If you don't know what mines are for, you are a n00b.
105) you buy buggies and hummvees to perform full frontal assaults on armoured tanks with no backup.
106) you were killed by a tank; this angered you, so to get back at them as fast as possible you bought a buggy and didn't change your Nod soldier. you were wasted again. noob.
107) you don't understand the mine system but berate people who do because you think they're screwing up when they aren't.
108) you throw down your C4 and surrender in an AOW game.
(note: i would actually like taking prisoners as it would take from their player count, it's just that most people who try this get wasted and don't understand why.)
109) . . .when instructed(either personally or impersonally) to mine your base, you refuse to do so.
110) . . .you have a cloaked unit and don't open fire on someone ripping your ally a new one because you want to remain cloaked.
111) . . .you ignore activated Beacons, even though they're right within earshot and you're an Engineer or a Hotwire/Technician.
112) . . .you don't keep the people deactivating Beacons covered.
113) . . .you place Beacons in tunnels.
114) . . .you invest all your piles of Credits in Beacons, then place all you afford in front of a nearby Purchase Terminal one after another, either because it's near the end of the game, or just for the Hell of it.(This especially applies if you're doing it to make a bunch of noise and/or lag the Hell out of everyone.)
115) . . .you think that being cloaked means you're completely and utterly invisible to everyone at any distance, especially if you put a blank "cloaked effects" skin in your local directory.
116) . . .you quietly stalk someone as a cloaked unit then get ticked when they spin around and shoot you right between the eyes.(No excuses. We can still hear you. In most maps. . . Damned Hourglass tunnels. . .)
117) . . .you don't think you're doing a bad job even though the only person on your team doing anything worth doing says that you suck. This doesn't apply if you're doing something productive, even if it's just repairing the Harvester or something.
EXTRA. You are a Sakura and your running behind your buddy whos an SBH. You see someone and pick them off, only to have their buddies ambush you and your buddy(Who is detected because he gets hit.) with Tanks and Humvees.
EXTRA. You think that the Ramjet Rifle is the most godlike weapon, and wherever you fire, something is going to die.
EXTRA. You mine the barracks with all of TWO mines when its your only building, then cuss everyone out for messing up your mining job when they start to mine it.
118) you are a noob if you shoot armoured tanks with a sakura then argue your case when you are found out and confronted.
119) If you purchase an orca on walls fly while snipers are abound on the clifftop, then fly up and get owned in 2 seconds flat, you're a noob.
120) you buy an orca, shoot at enemy buildings from way out of range and think your missiles are actually hitting.
121) you act like a big man taking over the tunnels on field with a Nod soldier, when in fact there was nobody there to take it over from.
122) you think you're in control of the tunnels with a Nod soldier and you get blown away and laughed at when GDI decides to return.
123) you get mad at dying so you continually charge the offender, c4 in hand, and die 50 times in an attempt to get close and plant the c4 on them.
134. Your name is kinghigh1, and youve been from the Renegade Public Forums.
124) you make a skin for the GDI soldier that says "ztype bush".
125) you lay beacon after beacon at the enemy base and they always get disarmed, giving the enemy thousands of points. your teammates keep screaming "NO MORE BEACONS!!!" but you don't listen.
126) you think a hummvee will be able to drive past a horde of flames, lights, arties, laser gunners and raveshaws, and you attempt it.
127) you always lay beacons at the same place.
128) you lay a beacon and don't defend it because "the area must be evacuated before the strike hits".
129) you lay a beacon and realise you forgot to bring toilet paper.
130) . . .a vote is initialized to kick someone for a valid reason(Tunnel Beacons, Beacon spamming, driving vehicles in tunnels, hillcamping, etc.) and you don't vote. Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
131) . . .you hillcamp, tunnel-Beacon, drive vehicles in tunnels, break any server's clearly-written rules, or just generally make an ass of yourself in a server.
132) . . .you're an admin for a server and "see" something happening(weither it be in-game or through the console) but don't step in to put a stop to it.
133) . . .you continue to use a Black Hand unit(Laser Chaingunner) against an Officer even though the Officer keeps kicking your butt.(I'm way guilty of this one.)
134) . . .you get into a fight with a unit on the other team, then when you beat them, you call them a "<unit> n00b" for no apparent reason other than you beat them. This especially applies if the person you beat is using a "non-tactical" unit; a unit without Stealth or secondary functions on their weapons. It's debatable if this also transfers over into Vehicle vs. Vehicle fights. But on that note. . .
135) . . .you call someone a "Mendoza/Mobius n00b" after beating them with your Infantry, even though they were able to take out your Mammoth or Flame Tank all by themselves.
136. you change important things when making a map, like increasing the mammoth missile range, winding up in very unbalanced fights between infantry and mammoths. especially bad when the missile range is higher than mendoza's volt gun, rendering it pointless to give chase to a mammoth.
137. You're a Havoc/Sakura, you've spent the entire game shooting heavy tanks for points, your team loses by basekill and you don't think it's your fault.
138) . . .every time you get completely owned by a Sniper who's using RenGuard, you claim "hax," "cheater," or say something along the lines of "kick <so-and-so> he's a cheater!!" without valid proof. This is especially true when said sniper has a score lower than the top 3.
139) . . .you go AFK for an entire match or longer after purchasing and hopping into any vehicle and don't announce you're going AFK.
140) . . .you have to ask how to purchase the normal units and vehicles.
141) . . .you continually "attack" your own team out of sheer boredom. Even if Friendly Fire is off, this is highly annoying. And on that same note. . .
142) . . .you heal or attack an ally Stealthed Unit who is hiding in plain sight.
143) You jump straight into multiplayer rene without knowing the first thing about it, and how to play, and hence ask people questions you should have answered for yourself if you had even went through the tutorial mission.
144) back attacking
145) killing enemy snipers with a vehicle even if it means your teammates are dying.
Seperately...
146) servers that don't allow killing people inside a base with an APC, even if it means there are engineers going to save a building/ infantry shooting at your teammates vehicles
147) . . .you think Walljumping by yourself on any server isn't an exploit.
148) . . .you think your can justify cheating/exploiting by way of calling the opposite team "campers". This is especially when the other team is either defending their base from a massive invasion, or dying so much they're constantly respawning.
149) . . .you like root beer but drink anything less than IBC Root Beer while playing. :3
And now. . .the moment you've all been waiting for. . .
150 for teh wen!!) You might very well be a n00b if you can't be arsed to say full words over voice-chat and instead use net abbreviations such as "lol," "gg," or "omfg".
151) ure a sniper when your base is getting hammerd.
152) you buy mammoths on field (sounds gay but they are too easy to kill on field)
153) Your SBH in CCTF and only kill people who are AFK and Hotties who are typing
154) Cheat
155) Whine about being banned AFTER you cheated
156) Bash Crimson or mac about being shitty programmers
157) in hourglass when you STILL have AGT and you mine beside it
(it wont help when your getting rushed)
158) Youve never repaired a tank in your life
159) You think NXC sucks
160) Ure dont know whut a clan is.
161) Dont use RenGuard
162) Are on teh renegade forums, and dont actually play renegade or C&C at all.
163) Buy renegade, and the first time you play is online
164) Ure Buggy tryin to take out a AGT from long range (trust me ive seen it)
165) You power up camp
166) Think Chem warriors suck (they are amazing in smaller games against tanks and buldings)
167) Go into roleplay games looking to jerk off....(suprisingly it prolyl happens more then i should)
168) U ask people to donate for APC in beginning of game, then go off with it ALONE and get it killed by base defence.
169) Play any modded servers with cheap/no rules.
170) U are getting sniped when your sakura/havoc, you dont kno where they are but you still continue to buy them...
171) . . .you have a modification to disable Nod Tiberium Mutants(by killing and resetting the Credits of someone who purchases one) running on your server, but don't disable any other type of unit.(Prejudice, anyone?)
172) . . .you don't give Renegade Alert a chance because of "popular opinion".
173) . . .you have a modification on your server that kicks anyone who uses a Perchase Terminal but doesn't buy anything.(Seriously. What the crap?)
174) You write hundreds of "you might be a n00b if"s
175)You try to hit a infantry while you stuck between (Rocks or such.)
176)You atacking mammoth with only 100 bullets
177) you play on infantry only servers and always buy snipers
178) you host an infantry only game and let people use only snipers, might as well call it "snipe only"
179) you might be a noob if you disable all the fun infantry for Nod and let GDI use everything.
180) you snipe well & think you're hot shit. you're just like thousands of other ren players.
181) your fish needs fed and your dog needs a walk but you don't do it because you are playing renegade
#181. You think that Crazy CTF/CTF is the best mode.
#182. You think that BOT is intelligent.
#183. You think that C&C Generals is the best game ever made by anyone.(I think this has been posted before.)
#184. You Asking evereone how much they played you migth be a noob.
#185. You atacking enemy AGT by Shotgun Trooper
#183. You think that C&C Generals is the best game ever made by Westwood
184.You read this all and forget about this!
LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST
185.You read all that!
